God Give Me Strength
by Zaphira292
Summary: It is years after the last battle, some friends were lost but Allen is determined to live on until his life truly ends. AllenXRoad; LaviXOC; KandaXLeenalee; MirandaXKrory. There is now a second chapter, Allen's son; will he follow in his father's footsteps? please be kind, this is my first fan-fic. P.S. A third chapter is being formed, but may not be posted for quite some time.
1. God Give Me Strength

God Give Me Strength

**Hello all! I won't bother you for long; I'll just say what I need to and take off. Okay, I had lots of ideas of how to write this and it ended up turning out nothing like I planned… Oh well. **

**This is not only my first attempt at a fanfic but also at a 'songfic' (is it a songfic? I have NO idea). And… Kanda isn't in it… AHHHHH! I feel like a traitor… *cries and doesn't notice Kanda walking up behind her* "what the hell are you doing moyashi?" okay, I'm going to run now… (And yes, I really am a moyashi, I'm small… *cries simply because she is able to admit it*) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LAVI! SAVE ME! **

**NOTE: you may notice in the future that I will constantly piss off Kanda somehow and then request Lavi to save me. And Lavi really comes! He's so sweet, saving me all the time. But my heart belongs to one and one only. Kanda-kun might warm up to me one day…who knows?**

**Disclaimer: *bangs head on table continually* I don't own it, I don't own it, I don't own it.**

**P.S. Okay, I know you're getting sick of me now but I just wanted to tell you, if I say I bang my head on a table, I really am doing it. Seriously, I have the bruise to prove it. (Ow, it's turned purple already; how hard is that damn table?). So most of the stuff will be real. Including the scenes with Kanda. Kanda…*drools* **

**Now, you read; I'm going to go watch episode 93 again.**

A young man is seen silently watching a young child chase a soccer ball around a barren field. His white hair blends in perfectly against the snow that falls around the otherwise deserted park. He sighs into the air and looks to the crystal-like sky for guidance, for answers. For redemption.

_The world's got so dark I need some guidance to see_

_'cause this pain in my heart is taking everything from me._

He cries to himself, feeling so alone. All his friends gone, some left this world, others still in it but lost to him. Leenalee, with her strong heart; Komui, his stupid inventions and his pointless Komurin's; Lavi would never again sprout his ridiculous jokes; that idiot BaKanda, never to 'che' again…

_If it's true that love makes the world go round_

_Please give some love to me_

_'cause I'm feeling so alone right now, it's suffocating me._

Krory, with his amazing desire to live; Miranda, he would miss Miranda's apologies (even if things were never really her fault anyways); everyone back at headquarters, Reever, Johnny, the other scientists, Bakk and everyone else at the Asian headquarters. Heck, he'd even miss the annoying stalker, Link. But he must go on…

_God give me strength to keep on walking_

_God give me strength to keep on, keep on_

_God give me strength to keep on walking_

_God give me strength to keep on, keep on_

He has to keep on walking. He promised Mana. He promised his friends, before the final battle was fought. The end will come for him soon, he knows it. His innocence will continue to feed off his life; his flame will not burn much longer. But he can't stop, he must continue. For them.

_The air's got so thick, I find it's hard to breathe_

_And before have I felt so desperately in need_

_I know that I must start listening to the voice inside of me._

_The truth is that when I speak to you, I hope to speak to me._

The fourteenth in his head asks him questions he dares not answer, he dares not think about. If he does he may doubt. Doubt himself, Mana, and everyone who died in the final battle... But that was years ago. The Earl disappeared, defeated but not dead. Only to return once again in the future, to restart the battle with a new set of heroes. These new heroes might succeed where they did not, but that was not the white-haired man's concern. That was a battle for another time, and another group of people. As for the Noah, they were divided. Some were dead, of course, but some joined him, gladly, in the end.

_God give me strength, to keep on walking_

_God give me strength, to keep on, keep on_

_God give me strength, to keep on walking_

_God give me strength, to keep on, keep on_

And yet he still has the strength to continue. He doesn't know where it comes from, only that it exists. And although he may not be around for much longer, he can still love and create life. He can still belong to this selfish world that thinks only of its own gain. But in the past years he has learned something, something deadly important and yet of no importance. Life is cruel, but it can be a beautiful thing. And at this moment in time, watching a certain child running and smiling, he can honestly say he loves it.

_Oooh, oooh, my darling_

_God is you_

_God is you_

"Daddy! Come play with me!" He looks up and smiles at the boy calling to him while slowly shaking his head. He wouldn't have the strength to keep up. 'When one life sets, another rises.' These are his thoughts as he watches his young son racing, as he watches this miniature copy of him speed around, the brown hair the same shade as his used to be, it even falls the same way. As carefree as any other child his age. Innocent and pure. And that is how he is supposed to be, no? Yes. And it would stay that way if he had anything to say about it.

_God give me strength, to keep on walking_

_God give me strength, to keep on, keep on_

_God give me strength, to keep on walking_

_God give me strength, to keep on, keep on_

He got up from his seat and walked slowly to his awaiting son, noting how that careless grin can somehow make him forget all his worries. Now, as a woman calls across the park, he laughs out loud at the boy's concern on having to leave and says something persuasive like any normal father. The child's face lights up and he chuckles again. They walk towards the woman with long, flowing purple hair, which was cut so short and spiky when they first met; with those pristine-red lips which had connected with his so many times before.

_God give me strength, to keep on walking_

_[God, keep on, keep on giving me strength]_

_God give me strength to keep on, keep on._

They are home now, a pretty little home. His wife had decorated and he will personally wonder for eternity how she was able to choose the contrasting blacks, whites and browns over her usual reds, purples and various other bright colours, but it certainly looked good this way. "Allen, darling. Fetch Mana from upstairs for dinner, please? Tell him to hurry; Tyki will arrive any moment now." His only response is a special smile just for her and a whisper of, "Yes, Road." As he goes to find the lively little boy that has so completely stolen so many hearts.

_God, keep on, keep on giving me strength._

_(repeat)_

Suddenly, he sees an image of the past, before the last battle, and smiles at the almost concrete image. He happily remembers Lavi's large grin, no longer just a mask for his true intentions, but a true manifestation of his feelings as he looks into the eyes of the newest exorcist to the order, another valuable parasitic user, a beautiful woman with eyes only for a certain red-haired young man. Then there is Kanda and Leenalee, Leenalee laughing while Kanda smiles, an action he saves only for her. He remembered vividly how Kanda had glowered and glared when Leenalee pecked each of them on the cheek, but he blushed when her lips connected almost dangerously with his, despite everyone's giggles and Komui's protests. Then of course Miranda and Krory, it seemed they had come to a mutual agreement; Krory would support Miranda despite her clumsiness and she would comfort him over the pain of Eliade. And then there were the scientists and all the others at the order, he remembered their smiling faces, welcoming him home after he had finally over-come the fourteenth. He had vowed he would never forget any of them, but he would honour their memory by living on through the pain. After all, it was the pain that gave him the strength to keep on walking.

**Okay, I know that was really bad but please bear with me, I have to work on improving my skills before I can edit that and make it better… Oh, btw, I know it wasn't good but if you review, you get a mental ginger-cookie (ginger ones are the only ones left, Allen ate all the other cookies; even if they are mental. Of course, I am too. Mental that is.) Anyway, we could only salvage the ginger ones, but if I get enough reviews I might just go out and buy some chocolate ones.**

**I just want to say something about the song. For those of you who didn't know, yes it is a real song but I will tell you this. If you just read the fanfic and the lyrics, it seems to almost fit; but if you listen to the song, well… the way it's sung just doesn't seem right for this…**

**I don't think this is worth my time but if there are enough reviews (it will take a few for my liking) I might write a sequel (but it won't be a songfic, I think). I was even thinking of writing a fanfic about the events leading up to this… maybe focused on the character I mentioned was with Lavi… hmm. Now it's got me thinking. Darn it! I'm supposed to be writing the Harry Potter and -Man crossover! Oops… hmm, how many times have I used "…" so far in this fic? I really like writing it… ….. ….. …..*BANG* OKAY, I'M OVER IT! Only because Kanda-kun hit me again (*cries*) but I'm totally over it… hehe… *CRASH* OKAY! I GET THE POINT! Girl-basher…**


	2. A Father's Strength

God Give Me Strength

Crying can be heard for miles around but the loudest of the mourners in the cemetery happened to be a beautiful purple-haired woman in black. She knelt in front of a tombstone that read;

_Allen Walker_

_Loyal Friend, Beloved Husband and Loving Father_

_He will be dearly missed by many for all eternity._

A child around the age of 10 could be seen standing off to one side with a steely face, not revealing any emotions at all while the one he knew as 'Uncle Tyki' comforted his mother; still sobbing by the grave.

He looked around at some of the other people who were standing nearby. He recognized some of them, Aunty Zeroe** (AN: this is my OC, she will eventually have her very own fan-fic)**, Mr Bookman, Mrs Krory (who had constantly told him to just call her Miranda, but he called her that anyway), and a few others. But despite him only knowing that few, there was certainly no shortage of people there. How many people did his father know, anyway?

He remembered when his dad told him lots of stories about the war, the Black Order, the Noah, the Millennium Earl, and many other of his adventures. He had even eventually told him the parts about Mana, his 'death'** (AN: when Tyki attempted to assassinate him)**, the fourteenth, and other things when Allen had thought his son was old enough to know.

The boy didn't even know anything about Mana until he was older, except for the fact that the man was supposed to be his grandfather, he was very special to his father, and that he received his name from him.

But, even after all the stories, there were still so many he didn't know. Had his father really known so many people? Did he really leave so many people behind?

Now he remembered a talk that he had had with his 'Uncle Tyki' about what had happened between him and Allen. About how he had once been his father's enemy, but couldn't help but be drawn to his friendly personality; apparently just like all the rest. How his mother herself had been the same. He had been horrified, of course, to learn that his gentle and loving mother had once taken pleasure in stabbing one of her fascinating candles in Allen's eye and arm. It was especially hard to bear considering the same types of candles were positioned in various places around the inside of their house.

Yes, he had found it terrifying, horrifying even, to discover all this. And yet, his father never once lied to him, always trusted him with the truth. But now he was gone. His father and his best friend had left this world and oh, how he wishes… but no. He was brought up to know the penalties and punishments of such things.

Many had thought that if the other Noah aged slowly and the fourteenth was a part of Allen, maybe he might live longer as well. But he didn't. Crown Clown, which Mana would have given anything to see in action, had fed too much off of Allen's life. These days his arm looked normal, after all, most of the innocence had reverted to their original crystal-like forms** (AN; This isn't referring to the new crystal types, it just means that most innocence went back to the way it was when it was originally found, like a box) **but the innocence's true form slept deep within him. It was the only reason he was still alive, after it repaired the hole in his heart. The others' innocence had reverted to their original forms also. There was no longer a Time Record; all evidence that was left was an old grandfather clock that Mrs Krory refused to be rid of. Nothing remained of Heaven's Compass but for some reason, Mr Bookman seemed unable to move on, unable to continue his work as a Bookman after the death of his apprentice. Lavi was, after all, like a son to him. Mana had been told about this young 'Bookman Jr' many times. In fact, he had heard more stories about Lavi than even about Leenalee and Kanda. But he had not been born then, to know them truly; of course, from all the stories he felt that he did know them, in a way.

Whenever his father spoke, he hung on every word; a bomb going off outside could not have distracted him. He thought, like any other child, that his father would be there forever. Allen had always protected him and shielded him from many things, he probably trying give his son the pure loving and caring childhood that he had never truly had.

Now, as he walked away, he did not notice a smiling, cunning pair of eyes; watching him from afar; or if he did, he didn't show any evidence of it but a small shiver. He would not look back; he would follow in his father's footsteps, his father's strength. He would continue until he died a happy, peaceful death like his father. Little did he know that he _would_ take after his father, he would continue his work of bringing smiles to the unfortunate and being a 'destroyer who saves'. He would face his own share of danger, his own share of love, and one day, he would fall. But until then he would keep on walking, walking, walking… and die with a pleasant smile on his face.

**Okay, I am writing the last chapter to this, but i'm finding it harder than I thought. It may take a while.**

***Allen walks in* "Why do you always take so long to write stuff anyways?"**

**"Homework. I have, like, ten tests and assignments to do (and a few speeches) and I haven't studied cause I stayed up late writing this last night."**

***Lavi appears from out of nowhere and pokes my head* "Oh really, I thought I saw you looking at my picture last night (She has a picture of me on her bedside table in a photo-frame. No kidding, it's really there!)"**

**"Um... well, to tell you the truth I actually had my birthday party yesterday afternoon. Yes, I was writing this fan-fic on my birthday. How sad is that?"**

***Kanda walks through the door* "Yeah, but you wrote it at school when you were supposed to be listening to your geography teacher go on about what you need to know for your tests. And, when you finally finished it, instead of listening, you had the nerve to go on and read ****_other_**** people's fan-fic's. We should take away your laptop."**

**"No! Not my lap-top! Leave me and my pretty green lap-top alone (green is my favourite colour)! Wait, why are all you guys here anyway?"**

**"You're the author, you tell us." (In case you didn't realize, all three of them said that in unison.)**

**"Waahh! Leenalee, they're picking on me!"**

***Leenalee gives a hug* "Boys, leave her alone. She's doing her best. But right now she has to leave and go to school. Isn't that right Zaphira?"**

***Meeps* "No! You can't make me go! School is prison! Plus, I didn't do my history homework and I have history today! My teacher is scary..."**

***glares* "Zaphira Rider," (Not my real name, if this was Skulduggery Pleasant it would be my 'taken' name.), "You are going to school today, or so help me..."**

**"..."**

**"NOW!"**

**"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Bye, bye all."**

***Kanda watches as everyone exits the magical rainbow room* "Okay, I've said it before but; what just happened?"**


	3. Hiatus(updated)

Hello everyone, yes, I am back. I will be writing the replacement for this chapter in a while, once I have refreshed my knowledge of the series. (I don't want to type something and have reviewers have to correct me) Thank you to everyone for your patience and I promise I will get work on it soon. Please be aware, however, that my illness can get both better, or worse at any time, and if it gets worse while I am in the middle of writing a chapter, it may just take a little longer than normal to update.

Anyways, don't bother reviewing as this message will be deleted and replaced by the chapter, later on.


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